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Floundering before the finish

I’ve almost got my WIP completed and I’m starting to procrastinate again. I read bits of it and wonder if it’s good enough. I’ve taken advice from the Romantic Novelists Association new writer’s scheme, from other less experienced readers and I’ve chopped and changed bits that I personally really liked. Now I’m just not sure of any of it. Have I obeyed too many rules and is my novel missing its fun?

My critique from the RNA started with ‘ this is a novel with great potential…’ I don’t know if I’ve built on that or removed it! Help!!

It is as though my novel has undergone the journey of those cosmetically enhanced actresses who end up looking nothing like their real selves. The first few tweaks and changes are an improvement and then the rest of the changes unbalance their faces and make them look alien. Have I done this? Have I made it a more bland and less compelling story? I look at the natural beauty of Audrey Hepburn and she is more compelling than many current actresses because she isn’t a slave to beauty or fashion rules.

I’m putting the current draft away for a week or two to get some distance and may just not use the last redraft at all. At least with a novel you can get back to the original structure ! I wonder how many actresses yearn for their original features?

Meanwhile, I’m going to write a short story, maybe two and think about novel number two.

I’m not despairing about this. It’s all been about learning and I think I’ve just learned not to listen to too many people.

Is the Fault in our Stars?

“The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings.”
Cassius Act 1 scene 2 Julius Caesar. Shakespeare

I had to start with a well known quotation again because of a book that I’ve been reading this week.

I’ve just had a 5 day beach break near Barcelona. One sister has rented a house for the summer and two sisters joined her last week for a bit of sister bonding and time with our niece and nephews.
We all had kindles. No paperbacks to weigh down cases. We all had different taste in the novels we had taken but we all ended up reading the same one.

My niece, she’s almost thirteen, told me that her best read ever had been ‘ The Fault in our Stars’ by John Green and she’d reread it several times. I was intrigued enough by the title and by her comments to download it as my next read. Her mum succumbed as did my other sister so we all read this Teen /YA book. Sunglasses and tissues were needed for the readers at several points in the tale.

The main characters have all had cancer and are at varying stages of remission. It does not romanticise their illnesses and can be heart wrenching at times but it is a poignant love story and I’m glad I read it. I wonder can the film, just out, match the book? I have not seen many that can do that. At the moment, I can’t think of any except for ‘Gone with the Wind.’

I love it when a younger person recommends a book! It’s a shared experience and shows me what teens are liking right now. The last YA I read was ‘ The Hunger Games’ series. TFIOS is much more introspective and I think my niece is right in that it is worth rereading parts. I might read more by John Green!

Febulicious month

February has been a Febulicious month for this hen. I’m writing again!

I have been through a very dark and murky tunnel and I found out that I couldn’t write about those tough times. I look back at October and I can’t believe I managed that brief offering! I admire people who can share their worst times and some, such as Lisa Donaldson’s inspiring blog ( see link) and the wonderful young Alice Pyne, have been a great support to me.

After October, my writing just stopped and survival kicked in. Maybe, in hindsight, I may be able to write about and use my experience of the last few months in the future , but now it is too raw and I’m just glad it is over. OK no one died and I’m finding ‘me’ again but, I definitely lost a lot of myself during my last sessions of chemo and the radiotherapy follow up.

The funny thing is that I managed to get up, keep active, apply the makeup and look well. I appeared positive but it was a front to fool
even myself because I couldn’t write, dream or think creatively and I knew that I couldn’t. It was all that I could do to get up and show my family that I was well – but I wasn’t. Looking back, I think this might have been a sort of hidden depression rather like post baby blues or a depressive dip caused by the shock of being ill and going through chemotherapy but I don ‘t want to look back or think about it too
much yet. I’m just glad that the fog has started to lift and I am getting some of me back. I’m writing and I’m reading a lot and I am positive most of the time ( late night / early morning doom n gloom thoughts are still around)

That is why February is turning out to be so Febulicious! I have got to the end of invasive treatments, my brain and ideas are emerging from the chemical fog and I’m ready to write and blog and put the past few months behind me.
…..and my hair is growing!